The important part is the time you spent coming up with that specific goal, the steps you took to achieve it, and what you learned from it. If you train bjj or mma, maybe you've heard this saying - it's not about getting the belt, it's about the journey to get there. Same thing with goal setting, the more important part is the journey you took to get there.
You consciously made a decision to set a goal. You took steps to achieve it such as sacrificing, working harder, or learning more. Let's say you didn't fully hit the mark with that goal. Yet now you know that you have the commitment to sacrifice, the ability to work harder, and the capacity to learn more. How can not making this goal be considered a failure when you just learned so much about yourself and what you can do? It's not a failure, it's a success.
Often people miss this distinction. They think because they wrote down goals A, B, and C that doing anything less than fully accomplishing them is a failure. It's not. However there are a few common reasons why people give up on their goals, we are going to cover them below. And I would think that taking the time to set a goal, work towards it, and then give up on it would have to be discouraging. It probably would make most people reluctant to set any goals in the future due to the cancerous thought of - well, I failed before so...
Don't be one of those people! Read these 5 common pitfalls between people and their goals. This isn't specific to bjj or mma but if you want to be a world champion, or successful at work, one common denominator among successful people is goal setting. Perhaps later we can do a post about specific goal setting steps, not in this one though. This one is so that you can quickly identify warning signs when setting goals or while in the process of trying to achieve them so that you don't give up. I saw an article about goal setting on Yahoo! via inc.com several weeks ago and thought it would be a great topic for my bjj site. That article was titled "Why people fail with goals", too negative man. I added some of my own flair and love to some of their ideas and voila! With that, here we go:
5 Reasons People Abandon Their Goals
1) Fear of failure
This one will be short and sweet, just like my favorite type of lady. Does the fear of failure prevent you from taking action? Why? Going to let you in on a little secret. Everyone fails.
If we didn't fail, where would the fun in life come from? If everything in our lives went according to "our" plan, things would be too rosy. Know what I'm saying? Turmoil, conflict, struggle - these things shape and form who we are. They shape how we teach others, how we pass knowledge on to others.
Thomas Edison tried over 3000 times to find a material that would work as a filament in a lightbulb. 3000. When asked about "failing" 3000 times, he said he didn't fail. He simply discovered 3000 materials that didn't work.
Have you tried perfecting that sweep in bjj 3000 times? Or that left hook?
2) Fear of success
Some people along the way to their goals actually experience a fear of success. Crazy right? But it makes sense. Like me, I'm trying to create a successful website. Granted it hasn't happened YET, but at times I wonder what if? What if it does take off and all of a sudden I can't keep up? What might people or visitors expect from me then?
Or let's say you want to become the next UFC lightweight champion. What happens then? Will friends from high school start looking me up asking for money? The question you can glean from this would be: what if success didn't make you happy?
Rather than concentrating on negative aspects like jealousy or problems that may arise, focus on how your success could potentially benefit others around you. If you do become the next champ, think of the sponsorship money you could bring to your school or gym. Think of how much knowledge you'll have to share with all of the new fighters.
3) Impractical timeline
Sometimes people get too excited. They get bit by the goal setting bug and go hog wild. Recipe for disaster baby. They set too many goals, in too varied of areas, with too short of a timetable to get them done. I'm going to get a 2nd job, save up $1000, get my purple belt in bjj, and read War and Peace. By next Tuesday.
You will not accomplish them all. As a result you may get discouraged and give up. When you give up, it becomes easier to quit in the future. Set
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