If you don’t want to read all of the life changing words below but still want to be all surly when you compete – be the guy that serves the fried chicken.
Oh – you have no idea what I’m talking about? Guess you’ll have to read the whole firetrucking thing.
Ever seen those guys to the side of the mats waiting for their turns to compete? Usually they have some headphones on, they are bouncing around, getting into their bjj groove. Some people have a much harder time getting mentally prepared to go whip some arse. I used to be one of those people. In this hopefully short post, I am going to share a story that may help you have the right attitude right before you go out there to choke a fool.
MMAth Does Not Work – neither do BJJmath or Wrestlingmath
If you don’t know what those are… mmath is the idea that if fighter x beats fighter y, and then y beats z, fighter x will beat z. Logically that works great. It doesn’t work so well when submissions, takedowns, and punches are involved. Too many variables for those to work straight across the board. So just carry that idea over to a bjj tournament.
I used to have a really, really bad case of wrestlingmath. If I were facing a guy that had already beat someone that I lost to, I was already mentally done. I mean, I’d give it a good go and if I won, awesome sauce. But if I lost or started to lose, I was supposed to anyways. Very weak minded indeed.
1st Match, 1st BJJ Tournament
I was a blue belt with maybe 2 years of bjj behind me before I entered my 1st real tourney. Hundreds of wrestling matches where the goal was to pin, not to hurt anyone. Me and the tattooed fellow slap hands, ref says go, and then I spent the next 2 minutes fighting off submission attempts. I went into this match all hopped up on bjj friendliness, used to the friendly backrubs and massages you get when rolling in bjj.
Competition was different, this guy was trying to maim me! I staved off his attempts and then made him submit to me. It was a rude awakening though. I had such an unprepared mindset for that. Here is a story my Grandpa shared with me that kind of turned around wrestling way back for me and then for bjj more recently. If I have to get up for something now, I think about it.
If you really want to win, and aren’t there for there for the experience, you need to go into a match with almost a chip on your shoulder. Don’t be lugging around this huge chip that saps some of your energy, just a little one. Just a little something something in the back of your head that reminds you that:
- you are the man, or woman, and
- you are there to take names today.
Do you know who I am bro?
This little query sounds smug so don’t say it outloud but this is an example of a question you can be asking yourself before you step out there. Does your opponent even deserve to be out there with you? Could they have possibly trained or worked harder than you leading up to this point?
The Fried Chicken Story
Every man is equal right? No man is better than anyone else correct? Theoretically, I could beat Marcelo Garcia. The chance may be slim, but it IS there.
When I was 14 my parents threw me on a train and shipped me back to Wisconsin to stay the summer with my grandparents. They were very religious people and attended church quite often, like several times per week. During one of the sermons that summer, somebody told a story. They probably didn’t mean for it to be taken and applied this way (a teenage boy using it to try and improve his wrestling) but it worked. And now I give it to you for your bjj competitions.
Maybe this is a common story that everyone knows?
There was this little tiny church that held a monthly dinner where anyone and everyone could come, eat, socialize. It was a big deal for the church members as well as members of the community. Over the years, the monthly dinner had really grown into a tradition for the town. The numbers of people who went began to swell. Politicians began to swing by the church on these dinner nights probably for publicity reasons. Not all but I’d say some.
The church had rules that everyone had to follow, even when it came to serving the food. Just like my Dad used to do, no joke, people got set amounts of food. You kind of have to when feeding people. The church wanted to make sure that if anyone came through the line throughout the night that they would have enough food to give them.
You got one scoop of jello. One scoop of mashed potatoes. Two pieces of fried chicken – one drumstick and one thigh or breast.
One night, some senator or congressman shows up. He does his gladhanding and baby kissing and makes his way up to the line for food. He gets to the fried chicken guy.
“Thigh or breast?”
“What?”
“You get one or the other with your drumstick… would you like a thigh or breast?”
“I’ll just have some extra drumsticks.”
“Sorry, we can’t do that. We want to be sure to have enough for everyone.”
“What about 3 drumsticks?”
“Sorry sir, 1 drumstick and then a breast or thigh?”
“2 drumsticks?”
“Sorry, can’t.”
“Do you know who I am? I am Senator Smith from such and such here on a fancy pants visit from England.”
“Do you know who I am? I am the guy that serves the fried chicken.”
Jesus that took a long ace time to write and now I am not even certain if it fits with anything. Do you feel like stabbing yourself in the neck now after reading that?
Ever since I heard that story, the line “do you know who I am? I serve the fried chicken” has always stuck with me. In just about everything I do. It shouldn’t matter if I am going up against a new white belt or Marcelo himself, I serve the gd fried chicken. For me it started meaning that as a man, or person, I was entitled to flex my own will or opinion. I wasn’t there to be told what was going to happen. I was going to do the telling. Feel me?
If you feel like sharing this trainwreck, please do so.
Need Help Getting Up for a BJJ Competition?
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